


Masquerade

by Retasudesu



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 12:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5090588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retasudesu/pseuds/Retasudesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Satoshi stared up at him, and what seems to be only a few seconds seemed to stretch out eternally for Jun. But then Satoshi tip-toed, lips barely touching Jun’s, and he whispered the words scandalously against his lips, “Take me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Masquerade

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed

Everyone was wearing a mask.

The room was filled with people wearing mask to cover their face – the woman that accidentally (or maybe not so accidentally) bumped into Jun before could be the lady that his mother had asked him to marry with, the old woman that spared a smile to him as he walked passed him could be his father’s business partner; Jun knew that he looked dashing in his perfectly ironed tailored suit, and he knew that women expected him to stop and ask their hands for a dance.

But they were not the one that he wanted.

He kept on walking, gliding throughout the hall in search for a figure – he knew that _he_ would come today. _He_ had promised Jun so – tonight would be their last chance, and they couldn’t miss it.

To his relief, he found _him_.

 _He_ was sitting quietly next to a table consisted with endless glasses of champagne; small, undetected, harmless, _vulnerable_. Jun quickly approached _him_ ; his eyes lit up when _he_ noticed him and gave him a rather lazy smile. “You came.” _He_ said, _his_ voice as soft and enchanting as ever.

“Of course.” Jun said, his eyes staring back boldly at the brown orbs that were sparkling behind the blue, feather-ish mask. “I wouldn’t miss tonight for anything else, Satoshi.”

“And so did I.” _He_ – Satoshi – replied. Just then, a new music started playing, and without thinking, Jun offered his hand. “Dance with me?” He whispered hopefully.

Satoshisaid nothing, but then hetook Jun’s hand anyway; his hand was warm around Jun, and he was tempted to just stay there and hold his hand, relishing in the warmth, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hold it anymore tomorrow – that tonight would be the last chance for him, for them.

But it was because of that very reason that he pulled Satoshi towards the middle of the hall, where couples has started dancing – they received some weird glances from everyone around them, but Jun couldn’t bring himself to care. It wasn’t like they knew who they were anyway. Feeling safe behind his mask, Jun pulled Satoshi into his embrace, hands circling around his waist as he rested his chin on the top of Satoshi’s head; Satoshi did almost the same, hands circling around Jun’s broad back, and then he rested his cheek against his shoulder as they started to sway. It was good that the music was a very slow one – the soft melodies were floating in the air as the lights started to dim, and he almost smiled when Satoshi hugged him even tighter, if that was even possible, and then he sighed – the soft sigh sending shivers down his back. “Jun.” He mumbled then. “ _Jun_.”

“Don’t say anything.” Jun silenced him; he kissed the top of Satoshi’s head, inhaling the sweet scent that gave him life greedily. “I know. _I know_.”

Satoshi stayed silent then, and for a moment, all that Jun could focus on was how painful the pounding of his heart felt – Satoshi was warm against him, and this was what he had wanted ever since Satoshi came into his life, but at the very same time, it was incredibly painful. He couldn’t have enough of his sweet scent, couldn’t have enough of how perfectly fit Satoshi was on his arms – he knew that they were meant to be, they _have_ to, but he also knew that they didn’t. It was such a torture to give him everything that he could ever wish for, with the shadow lurking in the corner that threatened to take everything away as soon as it saw the chance.

Jun didn’t want to let him go.

He stopped swaying then, and Satoshi was forced to follow his step. For a moment, they just stood there, motionless, before then finally Satoshi looked up to stare at Jun. “Jun?”

“Let me steal you away.” He breathed out shakily. “Just for tonight.”

Satoshi stared up at him, and what seems to be only a few seconds seemed to stretch out eternally for Jun. But then Satoshi tip-toed, lips barely touching Jun’s, and he whispered the words scandalously against his lips,

“ _Take me_.”

And it was all that Jun ever needed to break the hug and dragged him across the room impatiently to get out of the hall as soon as they could. They bumped against a few people along their way, but none seemed to care – the only thing that mattered was their linked hands, the ticking time, and the desire that threatened to overtake them.

Jun couldn’t stand it – it was driving him crazy.

It was always easy to find an empty room – somehow, when a party was being held, everyone seems to get a little bit forgetful from time to time. Jun found an empty room with ease, and he literally pushed Satoshi inside, locked the door, threw his own mask off, and he dipped in for a soaring kiss. It was a bit hurt because he bumped against Satoshi’s mask, but a little pain wouldn’t stop him from tasting that luscious lips, a little pain wouldn’t stop him from reaching up to bury his fingers on Satoshi’s soft hair, to kiss him deeply, senseless –

So he would never realize how painfully wrong this was.

“Don’t take my mask off.” Satoshi said breathlessly as Jun pushed him down to the bed, taking every inch of his clothing off and accidentally tearing his white shirt in a haste, and then moved up to take his mask off. “Don’t – let me put this on.”

“Satoshi –“

“Please.” Satoshi said, his voice trembled a bit. “I just – please.”

Jun wanted nothing more to see his beautiful face, but he would never be able to go against his wish – he got no time for it, not when he got an unstoppable urge to _own_ him. Because he could only do it tonight; he could only hold him this close tonight, could only kiss him again and again tonight, could only hear his raw voice begging for him tonight – tomorrow, he’d have to let go of everything. He’d have to let go of this desire, this want, this happiness, this love –

But it was for tomorrow.

For now, he took everything that he could – the way Satoshi’s body arched beautifully towards him in desire, the way he moaned, the way his nails raked against Jun’s back painfully, the way he threw his head back when everything got too much to bear, the way his tears started wetting his cheeks, the way sobs started to wreck his body.

God, he was painfully beautiful.

“Don’t cry.” Jun whispered to his ears as his thumb ran across the moist skin. “Don’t cry, Satoshi. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Satoshi sobbed. “It was never your fault alone – it’s ours. I love you too much.”

Jun’s heart clenched when he heard that; he gathered Satoshi on his embrace, and Satoshi was quick to hug him back, almost as if he was also afraid to lose _this_ , to lose everything tonight. “I love you too.” Jun whispered brokenly. “I love you so much too. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

And Satoshi cried; he poured his heart out as he held Jun tight, and there was nothing he could do but to hold him as tight as he could too.

“ _I’m sorry_.”

There was nothing for Jun to forgive, but he needed that apologize.

***

“Oh, you’re here!”

Jun grinned widely as Sho pulled him into a brotherly hug; Sho patted his back a good few times, and when he pulled away, Jun could finally see how bright his best friend was. Sho was smiling from ear to ear, his face red from happiness, and Jun pushed down the dull pain in his heart to smile widely for Sho. “Of course, Sho-kun. I’m your best man after all.”

“How’s the ring –“

“It’s here.” Jun patted his pocket. “Relax, it’s safe with me.”

“Thanks.” Sho grinned, and then his eyes darted away shyly. “I couldn’t believe that I really am going to get married…” He mumbled. “I always thought that you’re going to get married first.”

 _I thought so too, but then you came and ruined everything_.

“Just make sure to throw the flower my way.” Jun replied rather flatly. “So that I could get married after you.”

“I’d ask him to do that!” Sho nodded eagerly. “He’d be the one throwing the flower after all!”

The happiness was too much for Jun to deal, but thankfully Sho was called to get ready then, and so Jun left his room to the garden, where the wedding would be held. He took a seat beside his other two friends, Nino and Aiba, and had a light talk with them as they waited for the wedding to begin. Sho appeared then, finally, and he walked down the aisle first – the man was so nervous he tripped on the carpet and made the crowd laugh, and Jun gave an obligatory chuckle when Sho glanced his way hopefully, knowing that it was his time. He stood too, and together they walked down the aisle, and then they waited in the altar.

“I’m so nervous.” Sho mumbled quietly to him. “God, what if I make a fool out of myself –“

“Sho-kun, you’ll be doing fine.”

“But –“

“Trust me.”

Sho didn’t seem like he trusted him enough, but at least it got him to shut up – or maybe it was because the song has started, and it was time for the ‘bride’ to walk down the aisle. Jun straightened his body right when Sho did the same, and then he looked up, and he saw him.

Satoshi.

Unlike Sho, who wore black, Satoshi wore white instead. His hair, which usually was styled in such a fierce way, was flat and soft on his head now. He looked around nervously, teeth biting his lower lips, and Jun noticed how he clung even harder to his father. When people saw him, they probably thought that Satoshi was only nervous, but Jun knew the truth.

He didn’t want to be here – Satoshi didn’t want to walk down the aisle with his father to marry Sho, the guy that his father approved of and forced him to marry with. Satoshi didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with Sho and his elite family. Satoshi didn’t want to marry Sho with him as the best man.

Satoshi didn’t love Sho. Satoshi loved _him_.

And when Satoshi looked up, their eyes meet. It was only just for a slightest second, but Jun could almost feel his pain, his reluctance, his wish – he was so tempted to run to him and grab him away from everyone else, to the world where they could be together forever.

But he stayed still on his place, and Satoshi, too, steadily walked to where Sho was waiting for him. Jun kept on staring at him; he watched as Sho immediately reached out to touch Satoshi’s cheeks once he was by his side, he watched as Sho was endlessly praising Satoshi and the way Satoshi’s smiled softly as Sho kept on convincing him that he was beautiful. He watched as they vowed to love each other forever, he watched as Sho took the rings for him to place on Satoshi’s beautiful fingers, and he watched as Satoshi did the same.

He watched as they kissed, and how the moment their lips touched each other the crowd was booming with applause.

And despite all the noise, Jun closed his eyes.

And he listened to the sound of his heart breaking.

***

“You came.”

Jun looked up from his champagne, and he immediately smiled when he saw Satoshi standing before him, alone. Sho, his husband, was nowhere to be seen – that man was a social butterfly after all, he got lots of people to impress, while Jun knew that Satoshi wasn’t fond of such thing. It was a miracle that he could slip away from all the guests though, and it flattered him a bit to know that Satoshi was immediately searching for him. “Of course.” He answered after Satoshi took a seat on the empty seat beside him. “I wouldn’t miss today for anything.”

Satoshi smiled a bitter smile. “I’d rather have you missing tonight.”

“I was appointed with the rings.”

“Which is why I’d rather have you missing tonight.” Satoshi replied in a hushed tone, though his eyes were staring into nothing, stubbornly refusing to see Jun.

“I can’t do that.”

“I know.” Satoshi replied. “I know, yet I can’t thank you for coming.”

“I know.” Jun took a deep breath. “But anyway, congratulations on your wedding.”

Again, Satoshi smiled, but it never reached his eyes. “I’m his now.”

Jun never imagined the words to be so hurtful, but it did. Now, when Satoshi was sitting beside him with the ring gleaming on his finger, everything seemed to be realer than ever. The reality dawned on him, and as Jun stared at Satoshi, he realized then that he really had lost him.

He was someone else’s now.

“You’re his.” Jun repeated; from the corner of his eyes, he could see Sho walking their way. “You’re his, but that night, you were mine. And I want you to always remember that – the way I _own_ you is what’s real. That night, even though you’re hiding behind your mask, you’re not hiding your heart from me. When you were mine, you were real. But now you’re his, and it’s not…real. You’re only real when you’re with me, and that’s the fact.”

“That’s the cruelest thing you ever said to me.” Satoshi said, and true enough, he could see his eyes welling up with tears. “ _Jun_ –“

“I still own the real you.” Jun whispered. “I still do.”

He stood up then, and without waiting for Sho to catch up with them, he left. Faintly, he could heard Sho calling for him, but it was cut short soon because he knew that Satoshi was crying, and there was no way Sho’d care about Jun now when his lovely husband was crying.

Which was good, because Jun was crying too. He only managed to get to the parking lot before his tears started falling to his cheeks, and he let them. He didn’t bother to stop them. He was hurt and heartbroken, and his tears were his only escape.

Jun threw one last glance to the wedding party, and he half wished that Satoshi’d come after him.

But Satoshi wouldn’t, so he drove away.


End file.
